All Rise: Ain’t No Judge In This Court!
Orientation
I wrote a poem during my flight last week on the 20th. It was all about how the pilot expected some turbulence due to thunderstorms in the area. I kept waiting for it to hit….it barely did anything.
Actually, it was one of the smoothest flights, where I felt no stomach drops, no lightheaded-ness, no fear. Simply, an expectation for normal air behavior.
I spoke about how Kairos is an entity all on its own, and that it follows MY call. I’m sure some would frown at me claiming to have an entity bend at my command. But when your mind sets the tone…Kinda makes life feel like a timeless globe. The code to command simply is to always make sure I’m on time….AKA the right place, the right time, at all times.
So I don’t usually trip over late responses, flaking, early arrivals,etc…I plan, but I am very adaptable when it looks like I’m swimming against the current.
All this to say….I had no idea I was foreshadowing the death of my own father.
July 27th. 7 days since I wrote it. 11:47pm. Damn, this ish is really crazy.
Sometimes I think I read into things too often, but my analyses always show me the lesson; most importantly, it pinpoints my gratefulness.
Maybe I should’ve done a trigger warning. But shit…I didn’t get that. Legit, no warning for the pulled trigger after math. The nonsensical reaction. But I won’t go there, not now.
I was planning to write this blog post for quite some time. Kept getting pushed back by a day. Well I don’t know who needs to hear this…but, everything is OK.
It’s not easy, it still hurts, I get queasy at the thought of that last pull of air; I need a chair...
I won’t promise the end of these salty tears. This test I’m going through is proof in the pudding though. All the shadow work I’ve been getting through…so far within, when I come back out… it’s a whole new world, with a whole new skin.
This news hit different Bro.
No conflict, no ego, No THING could take away from the beauty in this moment. Sometimes I search for the shiniest shards of my previously broken heart. Still putting together the mosaic of my feels. All these emotional hills.
I made peace with my Dad long before yesterday. Forever grateful that I didn’t let trauma get in the way. I abandoned the musings of a picture perfect family…I eventually accepted him for who he was and IS. In return he accepted and loved me too.
Sometimes we don’t get to say goodbye. See you later. Or even, one last….”I love you”.
Stay ready so you don’t gotta get ready. In 2017 I had never felt a pain like I did (Uncle Marvin). Ever since then…the biggest question has been… “What happens when we die?” It felt like I was preparing for my own ascension. But sitting here, reminiscing on how everything unfolded…I realize it was all for THIS moment. There’s levels to this ish.
The month of July was huge, 777. I have healed. I will be healed. I am a healer. I am healing.
In the grand scheme of things….I’m not devastated. I’m not lost. I’m processing grief naturally. One minute it feels like nothing has changed. The next it feels like I want to scream. But one thing that’s different from 2017….my heart ain’t shattered and I’m not asking Why this happened again. I was unprepared to handle death then. Do you see why mindset is Lord over Kairos? Your mind sets the perception.
I won’t get everyone bogged down with the details. But take this as me overruling judgement day when it comes to my Daddy. Cause despite it all….ain’t nothing worth dishonoring his Spirit Body.
Interesting that the title of this Note and my Poem is called Orientation. When I wrote it the first time, I imagined it was a protocol for The Beyond. The 2nd time was just automatic.
This is the beginning of an era. An inevitable destination during this switch up season. The crows gave a standing ovation.
I no longer desire to claim pain in order to gain. From here on out, I’ll paint my own gateway. No more conflict. No more worry.
Expect the Unexpected when experiencing Zolar Eclipse. The Sun always shines again.
Wholeness and Balanced Vibrations to our ascended soul pieces.
Ameen. Ashe.
All loving innerG to Aaron Walker, my father.
