Dance Like WE Are Watching

A lot of my perspective is based in my upbringing as a Muslim. I identify more with a convert experience due to my mother converting to Islam when I was just a "wee little one". We went through a lot of transformations together, still going through them; as that's real life.

I was taught that you cannot tell someone whether or not they're Muslim, it's up to Allah to really determine what's genuine in someone's heart. So I was told. However, for some reason, at some point...it felt like the more holy I got, the more judgy I came off. I also gravitated towards some really good people overall, but when it came to certain sins, they were more judgy than others. I would say that's from a lack of life experience, considering I have now experienced both sides of the coin. I wasn't going around and condemning people to Hell per se, but I definitely felt like some people were just messy AF! (I'm laughing right now as I write this, because I'm sure that's how some people see me now!)

I was also taught that whatever you judge someone for, you'll go through those very same trials you judged so and so forth. Well, thankfully I didn't judge people harshly; I was too busy judging myself for listening to music and being slightly more in tune with my sensual nature. Every Ramadan, it was easy as pie to not listen to music for 30 days, but when I came back to it during Eid, it felt like what I imagined a drug addict going back to take one last hit would feel like. Forgive me for my imagery, if you're easily offended; this is not the blog for you. I am here to honor my own truth, and whoever resonates with that, this media is also written for you. I no longer place myself into energy that does not serve my highest good. With that being said, sometimes "messy energy" actually saves the day in terms of shadow work lessons. More into that later.

Anywho, I got off topic, my readers/future readers don't know me just yet, so a little background story never hurts right?

Due to my religious upbringing, it wasn't all super strict in our household. It was me and my mom against the world and like I said, we transformed together often. I was allowed to listen to music, but there was a taboo surrounding it. Any time I met a new muslim, it was like this secret bonding exchange...*whispers* "Hey, I see you have headphones, do you listen to music?" "Oh yea! I do, do you listen to it too?!"

So listening vs not listening to music was a constant battle for me from middle school to college.

While taking a break from the music for 30 day periods every year, it definitely helped me focus more in terms of spirituality during Ramadan, as well as allowed me to put more energy into listening to the arabic recitations of Qur'an. During Ramadan, I always felt a powerful connection to any Quranic recitation while fasting. I now realize that's because of the intentions I set out. It was easy to not listen to my regular music for 30 days because I mentally prepared myself with intentions. I wanted to feel closer to Allah and I felt the best way to do that would be fasting from things that I thought were Haraam, spending more time with divine word, having more quiet time to become aware of my own thoughts/questions/epiphanies. So of course, I was successful in building my connection to God...only in the capacity that I could perceive at that time.

Intention is the most powerful ingredient in magick. However, people fail to realize that life literally IS magick. Forget semantics for a second, just humor me. Pretend you didn't already have a negative connotation toward the idea of "magic", pretend someone never told you to stay away from it. Wouldn't my spiritual and religious folk both agree that YOU have a particular balance in your life when you've learned to surrender to the Most High? And that miraculous things happen to you on a consistent basis?

You don't get too gassed up during the good times in life because you recognize that every good in your life has come from a higher power. You don't get too far into despair during the harsher moments in life because you understand that there is always a lesson to be taught, and if not a lesson; then there must be something bigger being planned and you just can't see how it plays out yet. A lot of Muslims believe that you may get an expiation of some sins as reward for dealing with the painful times.

To me, magick comes into your life the closer you're connected to Allah, God, Source, The most High, Higher power (whatever you name it, it's all semantics anyway; energy is what counts here). When you expect the unexpected, you allow God's plan to play out without your usual blockages causing obstacles. How fun it is to be able to say you want to experience something, then literally let the wish fly into the wind....then GET your wish granted because you didn't have this specific plan on how you SHOULD get to the goal. You let go and let God.

This brings me back fully to the point of this piece. The reason for the title. Throughout middle school, I fought my love for music often. During high school, I gave in a LOT! I didn't care that I didn't know how to dance, I just let my body move to whatever song made me feel like moving. I used to pretend the supporting beams in the cafeteria were dancing poles. All in innocent fun but my point is that I just let myself enjoy music a little more. Which led me to make a few youtube skits for hobbies and small contests. It also led to me making a fool out of myself trying to do "the jerk" dance with full hijab and abayah on at the front of the class. My love for music, and how it connects people in the world has led me to do a lot of things.

When I got to college, I told myself I was going to try all new things, even if I didn't think I would like it or be skilled at it. I was going to talk to more people first instead of waiting for people to befriend me. I was honestly terrified the whole first couple weeks every time I tried something new. That's where me trying zumba with my brand new friend Rose turned into a legend.

I almost didn't go to the class because I was like "nah, I don't wanna get too hooked on music and then cant give it up" "I don't know how to dance anyway" "Can I stand in the back?" "I definitely don't want to be that close to the mirror" "What am I gonna wear?!"

A whole bunch of self doubt and talking myself out of a healthy coping method...as you can see. Well, I got through all of that and I danced in the back of the class for a while. Slowly but surely moving my way up to the front of the studio with every passing class. Me and Rose were hooked.

Whenever we had a bad day, or a good day, or we were just bored...we danced it out. Zumba class was our official stress reliever and we loved it! There were a couple times class was cancelled due to weather, or our instructor being sick and going through her own life stressors; etc. Every time I heard someone say class was cancelled, it sounded like someone scratching on a chalkboard to me.

So for about a year I enjoyed these classes, saved all my favorite songs that I knew routines for by heart. By the second year, class cancellations started happening a little more frequently. But the day that changed the game was...we were all ready for class. Probably about 35 students give or take, one of our instructor's bigger classes...all in the studio, talking and laughing. Then someone from the front desk comes in 10 minutes after class should have been started and states that our instructor was sick and won't make it.

Cue loud groaning mumbling noise, lmao. But me and Rose weren't havin it. We had just had a big exam or a big exam was coming up, either way we NEEDED to dance. She goes "Zorah, you have all the good songs on your playlist and the whole front row generally knows all the moves, but YOU know the moves by heart, so just teach the class"

PFFFFTTTT EXCUSE ME?! LMFAO Wheht? This was beyooooond me. Long story short...I did that shit and it was history ever since.

But nah for real, after that class, I realized that I could teach. Also, that I don't look half bad in the mirror when I dance, and people are really looking towards me like I know what I'm doing even though I have no clue. So Imma make it do what it do. Fake it till you make it, nahh meeeean? LOL don't mind me.

Okayyyy if you still with me! I started holding my own classes, on the days that there wasn't zumba of course as respect to my instructor. We started out with just 3 of us, eventually 6 who just loved dancing. Within 6 months, our biggest class was 156 students. Me and Rose specifically initiated the legend, but it was a lot of people who played a role in making Zumba legendary for the Colleges of the Fenway area.

When I say, I felt electricity during one of our biggest classes, I mean I truly felt a buzz, or a vibration in my body. When we all collectively yelled, I felt it in my soul. It was a transformative and healing experience for all involved. Eventually, they started selling tickets and people lined up outside of the dance studio an hour before class to make sure they got a good seat at the front.

Allow me to introduce myself, I am Zolar Eclipse, and I've come back full circle. Loving music is a huge part of several of my identities. It's been the one constant actually. But it truly is more than just "music" as we know it. It's sound that I am connected to. Rhythm in every sense. Music just happens to be one of the easiest mediums to get energy frequencies transferred. So I am fascinated with all the different ways sound can be used as therapy.

My healing center's main focus will be on making people feel better than they did before they walked in. That means healing will take place in many different forms. But I am very excited for my Oasis/Dance studio to officially open it's doors. My old students and I have been waiting to feel that same vibration...that buzz we felt in the dance studio back in 2015-2016. Zolar Eclipse has come full circle, AND I want people to dance like their higher selves are right there with them. I want people to forget all their problems even if just momentarily. I want the love to be so genuine and so strong that everyone feels like no one is watching...yet everyone is watching at the same time. Freedom in it's fullest form. Dancing was one of the first coping methods that peeled off any layers of insecurities with my body; which allowed me to learn my sensual side without it being tainted into gutter thoughts. To dance in a room filled with encouragement, excitement, no judgment, and poppin music....is an experience most people wish they could have. I feel that religious people in particular; usually have guilt and shame associated with any kind of sensual nature. It's very easy to make mundane behaviors into something perverted in this society, but especially in religious communities who have turned sensuality/sexuality into a taboo. A lot of people also just go to dance studios hoping to gain this buzz I spoke of, but sometimes it just don't hit. That's because there isn't only ONE way to the buzz, you have to find the environment and instructor that fits you the best. But most importantly, condition yourself to strip away any shame when it comes to your own essence and creativity.

My hopes and dreams for Zolar Eclipse is to provide a generally amazing atmosphere filled with love, truth and encouragement to explore....but also to provide a unique and tailored experience for whoever and whenever necessary. To allow people to truly dance like WE are watching.

Consider this the official start of the blog, It's 09December2021, my birthday month. 5 days left till my cake day. It's inheritance season. Christ consciousness has arisen. Big changes are here. We've been through the crossroads and now we are at the cycle of completion. 1010, old energy that isn't serving God the way it should've been is now being recycled....destructed to make way for the new world order.

(PS: Take what resonates, leave what doesn't)

Until next time, peace, love...through light and darkness...may the Most High continue guiding us towards HIS true path, despite what anyone else says or does to distract us from the ultimate goal. I love you, yes you, if you're reading this right now. I truly, truly love your soul.