0122: Autopilot Apocalypse

I’m starting this post with no title. Because my future is still unwritten until I write it. I’m realizing that this whole time I’ve been taking on other peoples ideas for how my story WILL and SHOULD go. But the truth is they’ve been creating the illusion of me not having a choice. I say “they” but that’s a loaded word. I don’t know who they is….but at this point it doesn’t matter. I watched this movie called “Sea Monster” I believe…it’s an animated film…but the conclusion was that so many people died (honorably, I might add) over a war that was never theirs to begin with. A war that neither side actually had any real part in. The Kings and Queens had historically reaped the benefits (spoils of war) generation after generation. Things changed when an innocent child started asking “Why” and genuinely showed that She wanted to communicate with the very beings that others were taught to be afraid of.

I believe my Free Will was never taken from me, and that from day One, I’ve been told that in fact I DO have free will and I DO have rights….but somehow always felt imprisoned in this body and in this world. Why is that?

How did “They” do it?

It’s like dangling a carrot in someone’s face, or maybe a gold diamond ring…saying “You can have this and MORE, if you just follow these standard set of directions”….”Here’s the map…shoot for the moon and if you miss you’ll still land amongst the stars.”

I was taught that Islam, or Peace…was not just a belief but a lifestyle, and I agree. However, I don’t agree that the Qur’an was intended to be interpreted as one meaning for every unique soul in this world. Now, I’m not a scholar…but it seems to me that Most* Humans do well with guides only when they have the creative ability to put their own spin on it. Because what works for one, may not work for the next person. You’ll find even the strictest of Muslims still have some black and white rules that they follow within their own scope of understanding.

So let me step out of the box of being Muslim…in life we were taught that we have human rights….yet those get trampled over on a second by second basis. At times it kinda makes you feel like you had no rights to begin with, especially belonging to any sort of marginalized group.

So back to the carrot….I can have Peace if I just follow the laws appropriately. I can have Jannah (Paradise) if I just follow the Qur’an appropriately. I can have…I can have…I can have…IF I just FOLLOW.

Christians say Jesus died for our sins before we were born, but if you don’t repent for your nature…it’s over and done with. Muslims tell you, “nobody is perfect, you’re going to sin regardless” nothing is guaranteed and all you can do is hope you followed the Qur’an and Hadith CORRECTLY enough to make it to Jannah. The cops tell you they won’t kill you as long as you put your hands up. The government says they won’t tax you as long as you follow the code that was written in decrepit script. These are simple examples.

So I have free will to follow…or be damned. Now I could go deeper but maybe that’s for another post. Let’s close out the circle of thought here.

They’ve told me I have Free Will. They’ve made it clear that one set of guidelines is the BEST map there is. What a shame for not following it to a T. Look at that letter…it’s a cross. That’s very interesting to me. But what’s also interesting is that you can tell someone they have a choice, yet take away ALL choices except the decision to fall into obedience.

They’ve injected fear into my subconscious. Fear of myself. Fear of destroying my life and my hereafter just for following the beat of my own drum. They’ve called me defective since birth but expect me to follow 5000 pages of a guide that wasn’t even written in my native tongue. How Dumb.

The logic just isn’t logic-ing…if you ask me. Sprinkling truth with falsehood….that’s the ultimate crime of passion. Sounds like greed, the Grinch…or the green eyed monster done came and took over. But that was generations and generations and generations ago. There is nothing new under the Sun. I think it’s time for some inner child wounds to finally be healed. To break the curses that left us on our backs. No longer chained but still acting the same. This was the greatest magick trick ever spelled on our brain.

Hidden in plain sight. NOW YOU SEE ME. Yes that’s an allusion to the illusion. I am elusive for a reason. Ask yourself…was I even really here? When I’m long gone…these words gone hit harder. I promise…I’m just doing what I’m called to. The Most High never left me to dry up and sell out like a crusty old crab. But I am a sponge that absorbs. I stay in high spirits because the spirit is within me. So the blueprint that I follow is the one that inspires WE…the one from my core. All others remind me of black mold spores. Easily spread…and dangerous.

I no longer want the carrot I was never guaranteed to be awarded. I want to continue destroying this autopilot Zombie…to take control again and follow my original code sequence. The programming was hacked. Truth with falsehood had me in a chokehold. Chains around my neck. But observation is key. To be aware of when this is happening.

This is not to disparage anyones religion. Simply me calling a spade a spade. Or an Ace an Ace. I think I aced the quiz. Depends on who you think the teacher is…good thing my test questions ain’t on your paper.

It’s 12:59. So I guess this is past the hundredth hour. Now it’s 01:00 AM. Full circle. 01:01 I think I’ll end it for now.