17:43 Black Hole Reflections

Last Holiday with Queen Latifah has been one of my all time favorite movies due to the feel goods I get when I watch it, but also because of the cringey second hand embarrassment, the effects of living a cautious and fearful life…what can happen when God removes all that doesn’t serve you, and how that can look like the end of the world sometimes. It’s a deep movie, the humor may distract you from the symbolics in almost every interaction. No friction means you are Dead. We need stress in life…it creates resilience, growth, evolution. Of course we don’t want to break ourselves, but we do need a challenge..and we must DO with LOVE. Things I have to remind myself of often: 1. That stress can be a good thing. 2. To not break myself by going against the flow and taking on too much stress. 3. That the more I allow my body to exist without shaming it for how it moves or responds to said stress, the clearer my intuitive guidance is.

I had 2 firsts today, out of the 3 years I’ve been traveling this frequently.

They delayed me going through TSA because my drivers license was apparently too dark.

I could’ve just went through the regular TSA Precheck, but nope I was adventurous and tried the “digital ID” which is supposed to just have you face a camera and you don’t need an ID. But in my case, my face wasn’t enough. Then my driver’s license wasn’t enough….

3 people scrutinizing my lil license like I could possibly be that smooth🙃 Then he looked through every single debit and credit card I owned. Asked if I had any other ID present. And I’m just like….”what in the twilight zone is this shit?!” Mind you….it was 15:12 when this all ensued and I had to board at 15:29.

Insane, I know.

Wanna hear something more insane? I actually DO have another old license with a much clearer picture, I forgot it was in my other phone case. I didn’t see it until I was on the plane 🤣🤣 yikes.

I noticed my body was definitely making a point of being annoyed at the unnecessary inconvenience, so I allowed that…but I understand due process for system glitches; I just don’t tolerate humans acting like they don’t have a critical mind. However I didn’t feel the need to raise my voice or get irate like I normally would want to for a situation like this. By the way…he almost didn’t let me go, so I told the guy to look at the bottom right corner and he’d see the clearer pic, it’s just smaller….WHYYY does he go…. “they should hire you” 👀👀👀 SIR. Get it together!!!

After that, I make it to my flight easy peasy lemon squeezy, I walked very calmly the whole way, was able to walk straight on the plane, there was one spot left for my bag in first class (last minute automatic upgrade…and you know I love me some free shit 😬😋). And then I met this wonderful flight attendant, and I complimented her on her locs and she complimented me on mine. Then I got this “Last Holiday” type of meal from the airline which I have NEVER experienced before, felt like my mf birthday!!! Now I may be easily impressed these days 🤣🤣🤣 but that was a much needed meal. And since I’ve started taking better care of myself and listening to my body’s cues, it’s nice to see this wink from the Universe like “we see you, and we raise you” like I was dead asleep and all I hear is “do you want the meal box option of a turkey sandwich?” And I’m just like “we can have that for free?!” Normally I wouldn’t even ask for anything because I just assumed it cost money.

This time, I just took the opportunity where I saw fit. That was the BEST turkey croissant I’ve had in a long time, the chips were my fave pairing for such a sandwich, the cheese was thick…I didn’t even need sauce bruh! The chocolate chip cookie was poppin!! And then I got an extra bag of chips just cause we in first class…

Bitch….I was a peasant and I have now seen the light 🤣🤣🤣🤣

But no fr, I’m so grateful just for this experience alone. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but I was so excited to be fed a good ass meal in the air, with 3 glasses of Chardonnay?!?! Cut it oooout.

I ended up giving my business card to the flight attendant (btw my cards are really like wonka’s golden tickets…consider this a hint for future services); and she asked me if I was an Earth sign 🤣 which I find funny, because I only have ONE earth sign placement, and that’s a Capricorn moon. And we’re currently experiencing a lunar eclipse today. I am innn the air baby.

Shits been weird, but it’s been in alignment still. Even the “off” shit. So this is a new phase of me embracing suffering, being grateful for the minuscule miracles, and eradicating fear simply by bringing awareness to it.

I realize I LOVE to give. But I only want to give to those who want to Surrender to my Divine flow. And even then, I want to give in the ways that I sense your regenerative potential, not where people want me to give….or even where I feel like I’d prefer to give to them.

You see how quick people are to accept someone who’s taken the time to learn the language of their native tongue? I feel the same way when I resonate with people on an energetic level. It’s a language. I recognize love through its many layers. I truly enjoy recognizing what other people love, especially when it’s related to their personal style and expression.

As a practice, I send love to those that frighten me even though I may be too afraid to make eye contact (like them gas station beggars that be scratching their necks and yelling to the sky.)

I hope one day that fear will dissipate; I know we desperately need this as a community. But I will take my baby steps where I get them, and continue to practice love in ways that are gentle and pleasing to my senses. I’m done forcing myself to be in the trenches when I don’t feel a direct calling to said trenches. Done taking on the responsibilities of your feelings. I may feel the initial and habitual pang of guilt when I see your triggers rise from me simply Being me… but I won’t base my decisions off of that emotional wave. It’s not me, and it’s not you. So why hold on to it, I don’t want to die from unsaid grudges. I respect your opinion but I Will tell you my truth as I see fit and I will to stand in it strongly and proudly ALWAYS. It scares me to make such a commitment, but I feel that I’ve been devoted to Truth since Day 1, I’m only just now finding the language to recognize my Psalm.

It’s all connected. It’s really not all that Woo Woo, that’s in the eye of the Beholder my beauty. I am back in Kansas y’all. Only for 48 hours, but it feels like the ending and beginning of something Blissful.

Happy Lunar Eclipse. May you be Crowned with your ancestral inheritance.

I want some hot turkey leg straight from the oven one day, just like in Last Holiday.

Better pic, but doesn’t do the meal justice…. Y’all ever had a meal box option in first class before?

Straight CRUSHED. Also, I realized I eat like I had a past life in prison 😆 working on that….